Tree2mydoor has been increasingly asked if we could supply divorce gifts by our modern customers. We always aim to please! On this day, the 1st April 2017, are proud to announce our fantastic new Divorce Gifts range.
Japanese Knotweed Divorce Gift
Send one of our beautiful gift wrapped Japanese Knotweed plants as a gift to your ex. The impact and initial surprise will be fabulous and once they plant their gift next to the patio wall, expect cracks to appear after 2-4 weeks.
The roots will grow impressively as much as 20cm a day and act as a true lasting reminder for the scorn you feel. The luscious green leaves grow from gigantic stems with wonderful white blooms appearing around July each year.
Divorces can be a very stressful time, so after the break has been made official, celebrate immediately or even at the first anniversary of the divorce by sending a divorce gift from Tree2mydoor UK.
The local Manchester DEFRA representative, Mr J Greenfinger said "As soon as Tree2mydoor sell their first Japanese Knotweed divorce gift, we have arranged to intercept the package and send in a specialist police SWAT team to arrest all Tree2mydoor staff."
Greater Manchester Police have commented to say, "Our horticultural SWAT team is looking forward to a change from swooping in on illegal cannabis farms. The Tree2mydoor office is over the road from our station and the canteen downstairs make great donuts!"
As it is the 1st of April, we just couldn't resist writing complete an utter nonsense in this completely 'fake news' April fools day blog post. All information in this blog post is completely fictitious and was written as a satirical blog post for April Fools Day 2017.
It is illegal to have Japanese Knotweed in your garden in the UK, you can find out more from the RHS website.